12.31.2004

and brought them up on a high mountain

I'm afraid of heights -- but only to a certain degree. I have no qualms, for instance, of being on airplanes. I have many qualms about looking over a cliff face, even with a railing. I have no qualms looking out of windows in a building many stories up. I do have a problem with the Empire State Building open-air observatory. I have no problem rock-climbing. I have problems cleaning the gutters on a fifteen-foot ladder.

The difference in these situations leads me to believe that the actual height of the situation does not bother me; rather it is the levels of protectiveness that is the issue. Confined space like an airplane or building? Safe. Harnessed? Safe. Thin metal railing? Unsafe. Potential to spill off a small ladder onto unforgiving concrete? Unsafe.

Is it death I fear then? Even knowing my eternal destination, is it death I fear? I don't think so. But maybe so. No answer here.

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