and I was let down in

Strange to be feeling nerves, more as it approaches. Professional performance anxiety is non-existent, though careers can be made or broken. And yet this? No fear of careers being made or broken, so then what? One might surmise fear of accidental blasphemy, but not the case here, else that might exist in front of a smaller group. One might surmise fear of poor performance in front of family rather than peers. Possible.

In thinking through it, I think it more a case of fear of disappointing the Lord. Given a gift, and asked to use it, and how large the saddened eyes if I fail? In all other cases, no care of opinion or thought, but here? If no care of opinion, then no true belief. Of all the thoughts that count, this one above all.

And liar knows it, too.