11.21.2007

will not be weighted down with

Listened to a song I hadn't heard in years. The sentiment of the song is that everyone of us experiences moments in our lives where we don't matter, where we feel loneliness, where we almost don't exist. We feel invisible. It reminded me of a line spoken by Bilbo Baggins to Gandalf. He states that he's "feeling thin." Both sentiments express this lightness in us that drive us crazy.

Still listening to Rich Mullins and he seems to express the opposite sentiment. There's a sadness in his eyes that doesn't disappear. A brother remarked that Rich was so lucky -- that he didn't want to be here and he got his wish. For those of us like Rich, it is not lightness that is the problem, but a heaviness. It's a heaviness comprised of the weight of your soul. What hurts is that our desire is for us to be lighter, to not be so pulled down here, to be able to fly free from chains that ground us.

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