on either side

I'll try to make this quick since I'm already late. But reading Gal5 made me both puff and wince. Let's see both:

PUFFING:
I'm not Bundy, Aguilera, Britney, Brigham, Copperfield, Hatfield (or McCoy), McCoy (or Hatfield), Gin Blossoms, Shaq, Kobe, the South, Stiller-Black, Kennedy (T), or Kennedy (J). You got me on the Nicholson, sure, but if I can go 1 for 15, I feel all puffed-up.

WINCING:
Then comes the dawn. And I'm not Cupid, Gladys, hippie, Job, Mother Teresa, Debbie, Samwise, Thomas, or Brannigan. To go 0 for 9 is worse than the 1 for 15, really. So who's puffing now, Puffy McPuffy?