seeking rest, and not finding any

Two days later and still thinking about a counter-intuitive v. Check out Ps77, specifically v3: "When I remember God, then I am disturbed."

The psalm starts off as your typical psalm crying out to God. But usually when you get to the remembering God part, you move to praise and strength and rescue. But this one moves to a disturbance.

In context, this all makes sense of course. The psalmist is speaking about sleeping, and so the disturbance isn't some moral disturbance or worry, but actual awakening from sleep. That's confirmed a v later when it says in v4 that He "held my eyelids open." The psalm then goes on to remember all the great things the Lord has done for the psalmist, proof that He has not abandoned Asaph, that Asaph can return to peaceful rest.

As one who struggles with consistent and restful sleep, this v troubles me. Always assumed, and knew, really, that liar and the shadows have been the ones responsible for rest deprivation. Perhaps some of those have instead been from the light. Perhaps in all my wanderings to find rest, I needn't run away from darkness, but rather flee towards the light.