glory far beyond all

Conversation with the wondrous one today has me reflecting on my thoughts from the other day. Not arguing that my choice of Good Friday is the only choice or the best choice. Only that it is as good a choice as the other two.

I think many hold the opinion that there are two types of believers: those who accept the faith because of stark terror of the afterlife apart from God, and those who accept because of an attraction to the riches of Heaven. I submit to you that I -- and others like me -- comprise a third category: those who accept because of a keen awareness of the darkness within us, and how personally significant the sacrifice of a spotless Lamb for the complete cleansing of that darkness truly is.

I view the stark terror of eternal separation as something I deserve and have earned. I fear it, but if I were headed there, I'd say to myself that it's where I belong. I know the evil I have done, am capable of doing, desire to do even now, and that eternal destination is more than merited.

I view the riches of Heaven as the most magnificent of bonuses, the greatest of side benefits. Eternity is not something I grasp greedily for because it is far too wonderful a place for me. Even thinking I could or should be there is beyond my comprehension. All it causes is a never-ending cycle of shame and guilt.

But I view the death of an innocent one for me, for my wealth of darkness, for my slate-cleaning, for my east-west separation, for my blotting out, for my all-covering purity that is beyond even the depths of my shadows, I view that as something altogether precious and worth giving up your all for. Religions that have you emptying yourself or being born into the chosen ones or working toward some better you don't understand the depth of the wickedness that I am keenly aware of. Only the faith that says I know you, I know you to your lowest parts I love you to your lowest parts I will cleanse you to your lowest parts you can't do it but I can and I want to and I will -- only that faith is one worth bowing to for eternity.