As an elder of the church, I spend a lot of my shepherding time listening to the frustrations of the flock. That inevitably means I spend a lot of time counseling others against looking for a new church. Some may find this counsel self-interested, but I assure you it is not. Whether or not church attendance waxes or wanes affects me personally not one whit. My counsel is never motivated by a desire to fill the pews and coffers. It is rooted in a fundamental view of the church.
At the end of Matt12 (v47-50), Jesus makes a stunning revelation. When asked about His mother and siblings, Christ stretches out His arms to the disciples and crowd and states that everyone was His sibling. In v50 Jesus says "whoever does the will of My Father who is in heaven, he is My brother and sister and mother." Jesus makes the connection that fellow Christians are like a family.
In that vein, leaving churches should be like leaving one's family -- done only in very rare and extenuating circumstances. And while there is no singular verse where the Bible states "Don't ever leave your church", the family analogy is clear enough. And throughout the Pauline epistles, Paul preaches unity and oneness as he encourages splintered churches to stay united. He spent a lot of time, for example, discussing when divorce is acceptable; he never wrote up when leaving a church is acceptable. I think that's telling.
Here are the only acceptable reasons in my mind where leaving a church is not SIN:
- Moving away: Just like when two people get married and move out-of-state for a new job, taking them away from their families, it's permissible to leave a church when you're no longer in the area.
- Getting married: Two young people get married and decide
to find their own identity and their own family. That often includes being separated from two home churches (or one common church) to be on their own.
- Church is preaching bad doctrine: If you're a Christian and your immediate family begins practicing paganism, you might leave to protect your faith. When your church begins preaching health&wealth or declaring homosexuality and abortion aren't sin, run run away.
That's the complete list.
Every other reason is sin. Don't like a particular program? Tough luck. Stay and vent to the church leadership and call for change. Have an issue with another brother or sister? Tough luck. Stay and practice forgiveness. Want something cooler and shinier and new? Tough luck. Change your selfish heart. American culture has programmed us to believe in individual choice, where we can have things our way. And when our church doesn't behave how we want it, we change it like we change socks or restaurants. American culture is the WORST possible teacher as it concerns selflessness and humility and patience and loyalty and faithfulness. Trust me, when I hear about families leaving churches, it says far more to me about the deserters than it says about the church.
Everyone should read this article from EO. I've been saying all along that translations like The Message or the Living Bible are from the devil. This article doesn't actually say that, but it makes a great point that there is something wrong with the simplification of the poetic word of God that is common among evangelical churches. In our desire to make the Word make sense to the lowest common denominator, we strip the Scriptures of their beauty (and often their meaning). We seem to lack trust in the Holy Spirit to make the Word make sense, and so we dumb it down for the flock.
